Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Entry 6: Thuggish ruggish bone

Ever heard of it well, about a year ago I put this playlist on my husband Mp3 player. That included a sorted selection of 90's classic crap music. The Mp3 player was lost and with hopes that it would never to be seen again. Needless to say It has turned up in the wrong little hands and for the past two days all I have heard is random teed bits of songs I have dared to forget. Sounds like this " It's Thuggers ruggers bones,...... It's the truggers ruggers bone........etc."( That's the 7 year old dialect speaking) It has been on repeat. Damn you Bone Thugs n Harmony! And the traumatizing continues.....Will my son turn into a thug...... Tune in next time for further developments.
Peace Out

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Entry 5: Lost in the Mix

Am I losing her..... She is just 10 and I don't think she sees me anymore at all. I love her but I want to like the person she is when I am not there. What if it's my worst nightmare come true. She has all the potential in the world to be anything. But she has always been everything to me. Maybe that is alot of pressure, to be someone's everything, it's a whole lot on her. I just wish when I looked at her I saw a happy little girl. Instead, I see an anxious girl who doesn't believe in herself. When she was younger I was the only person in her world that she trusted with her secrets. Now I feel like the last to know. It scares the s____ out of me. I am in total panic mode, flipping out. I needed to vent and now that I have I know all I can do is love her and be here for her. She is going to be a teenager and she is going to make many mistakes.... And if she falls to pieces, I will be there to pick up the pieces. I wonder if all mother go through this with their girls. It can't be just me... right?

Monday, December 28, 2009

Entry 4: Christmas was G-O-O-D!

Well, My wings sure are tired from all the flying around I have done all week. I am ready for a break. But Christmas was G-O-O-D! I got the greatest gift ever from my sweet hubby. Wait for it...Wait for it..... A WII. I have been wanting one forever. I am not a so called gamer, I just enjoy them from time to time. But this is different I get to actually workout while having fun. There is boxing on one of the games. And I was like Rocky out there. Kicking butt and taking names.

I have set a count down to the New Me. The goal is to lose 30 lbs. by April 2010. I made a huge mistake of telling my kids this, you would have thought that I announced the end of the world. Well, I guess it seemed like the end of the world as they know it because I cleaned the cupboards of all unhealthy foods, no chips, no sweets. Harley, my son has been telling everyone, "My moms fat and is on a diet." Thanks Harley, no really there's nobody like a child to put things in perspective for you. I am ready to stop hiding behind...Well, My BEHIND! It was a week Friday and I am 4 lbs down. Any healthy meal ideas would be great.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Entry 3: Christmas Wishes

It's Christmas Eve and though I have no followers on my blog yet. I wanted to send The best Christmas wishes out into cyberspace, in hopes that my love shines on someone else and that one day my thoughts and dreams will brighten someone's day. So to everyone out there Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Oh and on the NEW ME front I have lost 2lbs this week, thats the good news. Unfortunately, I think I lost it in hair. Oh well, I'll take the good with the bad.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Entry 2: Corrupting children

I have two kids Desiree and Harley and earlier today I had a Christmas meltdown. And I ask myself am I corrupting my children. It's hard to admit as a parent that sometimes I make mistakes when it comes to the two most important people in my life. But I do and earlier I did. I like for my house to be clean and I believe that at ages 10 and 7 they should participate in the going-ons of the house. Well, Mr. Wait on me hand and foot, would beg to differ with me. I should have been more prepared for the opposition but the optimist in me was not at all ready. Desiree was more than cooperative. Harley on the other hand let me know that this was a job for...Yes, ME! Well, this as you can guess ran right through me. To simplify what took place after I told him he was being a bad person and Santa Claus would not be visiting him at all. Well, I will be honest a few 4 letters words escaped my pierced lips during this fight for my Mommy freedom. I do not want my son to grow up looking for a woman to wait on him like he is the king of the Pharaohs. Anyway, when the dust settles, I am left wondering if I have left permanent scares on his 7 year old heart and soul. Some of the worst things are made on the best intentions.
I love both my kids with all my heart and at the end of the day I believe they know this and that is all I am sure of at this point. Maybe I will get lucky and Dr. Phil will be out of business before my kids are old enough to go there.

A mother's love
A mother's love is giving and kind
A mother's love will smack your behind

A mother's love will scream and holler
A mother's love is worth more than dollars

A mother's love is hard to find
A mother's love will always shine

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

What a butterfly might say...

Well, there was a fluttering in my head all night long, again. Its like I don't have a creative bone in my body until my little head hits the pillow. And then its a symphony of lights and bright ideas bursting into my subconscious. And do you know what it says..... Its says get your ass up and write this down because if you don't I am going to run through your mind all night long. And it did. What sucks is by the time I get up, I have forgotten all about what ever I HAD to say at 2:00 am.
Someone told me to keep a pen and notebook by the bed and when I get this feeling I should write it down right then and get it out of my head. Sounds like a possible solution but I can't imagine anything that I was thinking of in the middle of the night being coherent enough to understand. I think I have come to the conclusion that I should work 3rd shift. I have never done it but I hate mornings and I love the night air. Right now I can't wait to find any job. Until then I plan on enjoying the gift of spending time with my kids this holiday season. 3 weeks out of school and right now I am calling it a blessing. May revise later.. Til then Merry Christmas.